self

At 69 years old, I have finished my work; and looking beyond today, I find a reality of isolation no longer needed. Because it seems, that I am finally done with this work.

Given that, along with a list of “bad ears, half bald, less than perfect; etc”. It would be nice to find someone willing to help me, with the “construction like” work that hasn’t been done over the last twenty plus years. at a competitive, reasonable wage. it is open for discussion; and we will both know the reality of it, before beginning; roughly 6 months of reasonable work, but not interested in going fast. It would be even nicer to find a woman, that would fit “neatly into my life/ and same for her”. But that is, “whatever it would be”; as life is less than transparent at this moment. I believe I am fairly healthy; but who knows? I am certain I do not have transmissible diseases, at this time; but I cannot predict the future. “its not my job”.

Not going to be your “guru, or whatever”/ just plain friends if possible; and if not we are both free to choose a different path at any time. Although I always try to be fair/ sometimes that fails; but no intent exists.

I am a white guy; which has no meaning other than: increasing the competition is rarely good/ as too much leads to trouble. Which is another reason: each group is best left alone/ with the exception “true love” should never be abandoned or discarded. Even though it is rare.

If you have an interest in continuing this work for yourself/ I would help you in that if desired. If not, it is your decision, not mine.

I for my part am tired of “little dogs (if I can’t have it/neither can you) biting at my feet (if I cannot do it/ neither can you)”/ and no longer fight alone, for life or world or nation. “the nazi (starving for power) goes free, unless you join honestly, in the fight”. Tired of the gossipers “trying to fuck my leg”: etc.

 This is what you chose/ this is now your fight to survive; to keep your world. I am old enough to know: old age means; the fight to survive, has far less meaning, than when young.

I am exactly as the work reads; not a game/ just how it is. Hoping for “simple, and plain”; honest and realistically safe.

No, I know not what the future will be for me. But if humanity moves towards me; it would mean: many would choose to kill: even though it would make no difference to what they want. You should be aware, just in case; and accept the potential is “not a game”. No matter how unlikely. No, I cannot save you, from eternity or death; that is not my job.

Nonetheless, if we can meet “a few times/ or just start working together; as agreed”; perhaps we can be friends? It is after all, “a choice”.

I consider “happiness to be a participant in the struggle for hope/ while hope is essential to life, happiness is the value found in that living, which gives us love. While life alternates between “valued or not”/ the essence of trust (not fraud), will find a value in friends. People exist within the frameworks they create; and that means not everyone can join them in their quest for value; the journey to define an identity of your own. Those who fit, can create truth inside. Where there is truth (the honesty of love), a friend does exist. While there is no expectation for more than simple and plain/ life and living sometimes finds a way to more. It is not “a game”. Real life, knows that is true.

If interested: send a comment to this site (i will try to keep an eye on it for a few weeks, just in case)/ if just for me, I will NOT post it. Alternately, my name and address exists in numerous places as the work went by.  kindly do not use this as an excuse for “purposes beyond what is listed here”.

this is: “just a thought”; if an interest exists.

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Jim Osterbur

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