In the best interest of life, the reality of living states:   unless I can be happy/ unless I can be “free to be me”/ unless I can participate in the care and needs of my own body/ unless I can be honest with myself, about the costs I represent to others: the value of my life is very limited.  Because these are not free, these represent the respect life, my life, and all life need to sustain a relationship that lets the rest survive, and be happy within themselves.  The dying will always say, “please, let my death be easy”.  But reality often says, “no”.  The consequence of that is:   a lesson in pain that knows reality cannot be changed, or bought, past the point of no return.  Or more simply, there is little or nothing to make the last moments of life “better or worse”.  Because we do, all die alone.  Nobody gets to go along with you, because this is the moment of judgment; for a lifetime.  Make no mistake, without mercy NONE enters eternity!  But understand this as well, that as true miracles upon this earth, as a body and mind unequaled by anything our own lives can create: the evidence is absolutely clear, “ GOD “ exists.  If you believe in JESUS, then you also believe or accept that we are NOT “simply created and forgotten”/ but loved, if we accept the foundation of our existence can be joined by soul.  That is a personal decision, and each has his or her own answer. If you have faith/ then the truth about life at its end is, to stop believing in life as time, and search beyond time to ask if the soul in me; is enough.  Soul means: that I have received the companionship of life itself in me, as a relationship with creation itself: the hand of GOD upon this world, and me.  This is a participation in truth, governed by respect, and aided by love itself.  Love is, a destiny cherished beyond the limits of time, where we live as “the fountain of youth/ the drink of a water that never thirsts again”:   because we have found the treasury of life itself.  The love that will not die.  Body and mind are merely mass/ life is not these, or it would not end so long as any mass remained.  Life is an energy, life is a courage and a freedom that expands in thought to reach the intensity of a moment that cannot be forgotten.  Life is a truth, a dedication to the existence of “me/ you/ or them”.  Thought brings to life its identity/ its journey/ and its destiny, as truth allows.  Energy examines our existence, and grants motion.  Death takes that motion, or emotion (the presence of an expectation, I or you DID make a difference); and says not any more.  Eternity accepts:   GOD gave us life, with everything that exists to make it so; and can do more.  Miracles prove “GOD can do anything with creation”/ but JESUS proves, “even   GOD” cannot make you love him: that is your decision alone.  The quest to be done with time, when it is too late to believe time goes on “forever, for you”: is a reality of nature.  The consequence and truth of what any such situation does do to our existence.  But the question is always why?  The answer is always: death, close at hand;  does give us the opportunity to prepare for eternity.  To ask of ourselves what needs to be asked/ to seek forgiveness for what needs to be recognized/ to understand within ourselves where respect, truth, and love becomes the reality of who or what we have been.  So that eternity may not be lost.  Not a game. 
The cost of staying too long, is very high; to those left behind, as well as to the dying themselves.  As time grants the right to repent, and prepare/ but pain takes that repentance and makes you choose, “your faith, or your want”.  Faith is the decision that   GOD is GOD.  Want is the decision, “I want” anything but this.  Which then leads to all manner of temptations, manipulations, fears, and more: because death is final: what you accept as your final decisions, become an eternity for you.  When those decisions are made/ death comes.

In this situation, we now look to the reality of what the future holds, because want is never enough; only truth matters.
In this situation: with cancer prevalent in several locations, at the age of 82/ the pain severe, without a very high dose of medicine (its complications), and a fractured leg/ that cannot accept any weight.  The elements of time and body no longer grant a lengthy stay on earth.  But no one knows how long/ for certain.  Therefore the consequences are essentially these.
WE CAN:   (With the purpose of less emotion)

1.  Bring “the patient” home for 24 hour care
2.  We can leave the patient in the nursing home, for 24 hour care; and visits.

WE CANNOT
1.  Fix the patient, lessen the pain ourselves, or largely influence the amount of time on earth for the patient, because we are not “gods”/ and there is no magic wand.
2.  We cannot exchange one room for another, and greatly improve or decrease the reality of death approaching; whether it is gold plated walls/ or dirt.  Death is deeply personal, and it cannot be disguised with “pretty”.
3.  There are issues involved in the reality of “cannot use one leg, even a little , or it will break”.  These issues include a list of  “Toilet consequences” that need not be discussed in this writing.
4.  There are issues with having strangers involved.
5.  There are realities of death, that must be faced by someone;  and a long list of fears in some who plainly hoped to avoid “the last minutes” so as not to remember it, and cry; even more.
6.  There are desires, “to do the very best we can in this situation/ because we will never get another chance to say: I LOVE YOU”. 
7.  There are realities of heart here;  that know, a baby’s death: can still make some cry.  There is the honesty, we will never be the same; because sharing and caring for life, as life in love;   is a truth that can never be replaced.  Rather we must go on, and share again instead.  Therefore caring does have a price, and it is very high.  But nothing on earth can touch love, “for joy, hope, or happiness and value.
8.  There are measures of existence, that must be recognized when the dimensions of our own living, and our ability to contribute to the living; becomes questioned.  To expand the definitions of care inappropriately for the dying/ subtracts the reality of life and experience from the living; particularly the young.  It is not free, even without a regard for the numbers.
9.  To ask what is required of the majority, even if you can do more:   is not “a tragedy” to expect.  It is simply sharing/ selfishness wants more; not care.

10.  When death is at the door/ LIFE IS “BEYOND TIME”.  Therefore nothing is more important, than the desire and purpose of truth in you.  When given the opportunity to search for these things, it is absolutely important to remember:   only what is true “cannot be changed in eternity”.  It can however be “covered up”/ wherever mercy exists.  Let your own faith guide you (your life and you; chose it), and your own identity recognize what that is.  Because, death is:  distinctly personal.

As for me, while it may seem cold:   it is my honest belief, that the needs and care of children, of life, are far more important than death.  It is not an issue of money, but of time and resources; a reality that is governed by our own decisions.  In the case of “baby Jason”: we all agreed, that to be left in a hospital such as st. Jude to be a “guinea pig”/ to be experimented upon/ cut upon/ and required to endure “an endless amount of pain, more”.  WAS NOT in his best interest.  Even though every single one of us, DID TRULY desire to keep his life alive.  Reality proved it would not be so.  Too small to talk to us, to sick, and dried out from thirst, even to cry; he could not tell us what to do.  The desire to do more, or better is still proven to be “our reality here”.   But that does not recognize our truth: when nature says it is time, want must step aside: to depend upon    GOD.  It is not time that matters/ rather eternity!  To have interfered greatly in Jason’s death, by subjecting him to countless more pain and suffering is not a wise decision.  To demand that “my own want” is more important than “nature”/ even if we don’t like it at all:   is not wise.  Nature gave us all life, nature has sustained life on earth:  because “it is, what it is”.  Simple as that.  To interfere greatly with nature, is a disaster: we are not gods.  To say “I want to prove my love to you/ I want to do more for you:   is asking your own heart to heal, because I thought I could have done more”.  But it is not so.  What we did do, is what we could do both heart and soul, at the time of Jason’s death.  What we can do today is: have faith eternity is real, and accept the truth that does come for us all, without fear.  Fear is an enemy, it aids no one.  To dramatically increase “the desire to avoid death/ by extremes”:   is a potential road to fear/ “I DON’T want to go”.  When we all know, that we must: it is not a surprise.  The time to believe in JESUS/ to believe in GOD/   to accept the spiritual reality of eternity and pray    Is now, while the living are alive.  To that I will add, I have prayed for both mom and dad: and do truly believe that mercy shall be found.

 Dead is simply a body without life/ therefore “useless” to all.

Beyond this writing; are the realities of life found in evidence here, at this time.  Each and every one, who has an opinion/ has an obligation to know what that reality is, or the opinion is merely a want, a fraud, and without substance or value.  Therefore discussion begins, day to day, as to consequences both intended and unintended, because each matters; and it is foolish to be blind, deaf, or dumb if that is unnecessary.

1.  There are two primary participants (________________)/ and one fundamental foundation of living in time prevalent to this discussion: money.  The elemental design of bringing_________ home is to make him happy; even if that is very limited in scope or possibilities. It is fair and honest to understand that _________ wants happiness for ________ as well. But, it is also fair and honest to say: her world must, at least in her mind, dramatically change for this to happen.  Her desire not to participate in his actual death, thereby escaping those tears, and NOT remembering them everyday for the rest of her life; no longer a reality.  To remember only the love, does have value.  To remember each has a mental responsibility to the other, becomes “fuzzy” when no good solution can be found.  The consequence of depression is valid for both, regardless of the choices made/ however it is far more serious for_________ in this situation, and far more serious for ________ in the other.  Who then do we pick?
2.  So then the question becomes: exactly what can we expect from this change for both parties to this decision that is being made for them?
The answer is: being unable to use his leg, for at least 6 weeks without breaking it in two; ___________ is essentially required to stay in bed.  A reality intensified because of the pain that cancer brings.  The desire to stand, is likely to occur at any given time; the reality of a broken leg, potentially sticking outside the skin, with blood, etc; WILL be a panic stricken moment for ______; with potential unintended consequences.

The answer due to the large amount of narcotics given to ______ constructs constipation as a guarantee, proven true; that now cannot adequately make for a quick trip to the restroom to alleviate the methods required to stop or mediate that from happening.  Bringing him home means there shall be a 24 hour care assistant here/ but it also means being 220 pounds; that he or she will not be able to quickly take ______ from the bed to the stool. A machine will be required for lifting, to assure the leg is not broken/ ______ will NOT be satisfied with that result; and undoubtedly “take matters into his own hands” after a time or two.  The unintended consequence is a broken leg.  The reality of staying in bed: with chemicals that are intended to be used for a colonoscopy, is serious.  It is a situation NO ONE desires.  But it is a situation no one can deny.  Because the chemicals work suddenly and without significant time to get to the stool/ unless you can walk.  The reality is, that a mess will likely be made/ IT IS a consequence that can or would happen to anyone caught in this situation.  Attempting to stop that, every nurse/ every patient will try to hurry, and with machines; sometimes even more trouble occurs should it fall over, etc.  This house does not have adequate preparations for dealing with that situation.  There will be problems associated with rugs.  There will be problems associated with cleanup of both the patient, the room, the bathroom, and more.  In bad situations those hired to do a job, do commonly just leave the mess and their job.  There is no good way to clean the wheel chair following such an event.  And the living room rug and bedroom rugs will be casualties.  That in itself is not a severe problem until it is recognized that _________ also has rights and needs, that will go unattended.  Particularly since the bathroom in question, will be somewhat overrun with _______ needs; at various times/ closing the bathroom to _________.  An unintended consequence, that is very upsetting to __________.
3.  We then come to the reality of 24 hours everyday, there shall be someone in the house with ________; and all the conceived problems that she feels will ruin her life.  Being terrified of gossip, she does feel threatened.  She does feel as if her life and her needs are not being considered at all.  Doesn’t mean a lack of love for ______; it just means, at this time and in this condition of health and age, privacy and ownership, is just another unintended casualty of the whole reality.

4.  We then come to the money: currently the initial cost of the nursing home is $5100.00 per thirty days, assuming no extras’/ aside from the ambulance costs/ and burial expenses. Another $10,000.00 or so.  The cost of home healthcare will not be less than $14,00.00 per thirty days/ and could be considerably more.  The reality of home healthcare is these workers are not going to do any housekeeping to speak of, and will probably make more cleaning necessary than what they do.  That adds another worker for cleaning once a week or thereabouts.  The question in this case is not the billing itself, but understands:   WHAT shall we buy, that makes life more worth living for________?  The answer is, that we will buy being at home, instead of the nursing home.  Being at home means a private nurse, instead of many nurses that can help each other if needed.  Being at home still means tied to the bed, because of cancer pain/ and the threat of a broken leg.  That means it will not be a happy time, even though at home.  If the narcotics can be sufficient to stop the pain and allow some freedom in a wheelchair/ then it will be a little better.  If it does not, then there is no realistic difference between being stuck in a bed in the nursing home, or here; gold inlaid walls with jewels, would make no difference to quality of life here.  With _____ upset that there is no place to “be herself/ no place [the camera’s of human beings eyes] watching her, can be found”.  She will not be happy either.  If a wheelchair is possible, rooms can be changed either here for television or eating/ the same is true for a nursing home.  Although there are many people to talk with at the nursing home if you so desire.  Its up to you.
5.  We now add in the possibilities.  If the cancer is not stopped, it will continue to spread, and cost even more to the patient’s body and mind; as is evident in a nursing home, some take to screaming/ some take to “bartering with god” and so on.  Either would be harsh to ________ to experience 24 hours a day.  More bones can break/ other things go wrong.  But if it does, then death is likely to come soon.  Ending the process for _______ as well/ except for the costs of unintended mental consequences as may arise.  It is hard to see someone you love die/ it is hard not to be able to help/ it is hard to have your own life “upended for someone else”; and so on.  Nothing here is easy.

6.  If the cancer is stopped/ or significantly slowed, and the patient continues to live; let’s assume 90 days or more.  During  that time at $14,000.  For the least expensive help, it will cost $42,000.00 or enough to put one grandchild through one year of college or so.  The price is almost certain to be much higher, before long: “when did you decide the cheapest was what you wanted?”   The question then becomes: what is, the appropriate decision, the child/ or not?  You don’t get to spend the money twice/ you must choose.  Added to that is the reality of nursing home insurance that will not pay, until after the nursing home has been paid for ninety days.  Since this is not a nursing home, there is no expectation that this money spent will then go to that exception: therefore the nursing home insurance becomes mute, or worthless for _____.  The alternative to that is, perhaps some can be gotten back, in this particular policy by not using that insurance; I don’t know.  Irregardless, once on this path, the reality of expense can grow substantially.  Even if it is not going to bankrupt this couple, it is a serious matter that should be discussed.  Simply because: spending money to die/ is not spending money to live.  There should be a return, that clearly describes “it was at least worth this money to _________”/ that is not likely to occur.  Unless the bone heals or the pain subsides enough to make life more normal for them both.  While no one desires this patient to die; no one knows how long reality might be.  Therefore the question of what are we going to do, as a group; if the patient survives a lengthy period of time;  must be dealt with as a reality/ not a want.  What everyone wants would assume a miracle, and that is not going to happen. Those who would suggest that a lengthy period of time cannot still occur: might want to consider, this patient was suppose to be dead 5 or so years ago.  “He’s still here”/ and it has been a good or worthwhile 5 years.  But that does not mean the future will be as nice, for anyone.   There are no easy answers.  There are no answers without unintended consequences or people upset.  That is just how it is.  Wanting better, won’t change anything.
7.   We then come to the final reality of money;  the person who has medical power of attorney, or “I get to make this decision/ regardless of the rest”.  I get to spend this money, without consent by anyone else, unless it is the patient: and in truth, he will not have the last say either.  That too has unintended consequences.  The final reality of care; which is the people particularly ______, who now has her life invaded by people and things so far beyond her control, that it jeopardizes her mental health.  Even if you don’t think it should/ like so many things, “that will not make a difference to the outcome”.  Or more simply “she may end in the nursing home, instead of _____”.  Mentally unstable/ it is a result of “what the gossipers do”: an unintended consequence.

In summary:
While we all desire the best possible ending for both of these people, want is not the deciding factor.  That means, we must carefully choose as best we can, being willing to go back and try again when we must.  That truth is NOT a lack of caring, love, or concern:   its just reality, like it or not. 

The path that illuminates our lives, is one described by the truth we became.  When truth decides for itself, we have done the best we could: even if, it was not what we wanted for them or ourselves. 
I will add this, simply because I can.
There is a biblical warning in the bible that says, something like:   “He who loves his life shall lose it/ but those who choose GOD first shall find life instead.”  It refers to the day of death, where those who “turn back/ wanting time” lose their chance to enter within the energy that life gave them, as it returns to our Creator.  Without energy, life dies again.  Or more simply: when we die, it is our responsibility to leave this time behind, and accept the new journey that is eternal.  If your life (that part of our existence beyond body or mind) “leaves without you”/ you failed.  It is a harsh unintended reality; but that does not mean, it isn’t true. 
Life is about making the decisions that then become your individual truths/ the value created by your own desire or purpose, for life and love.  Want is about finding a way, to avoid your own truth, and make someone or something else pay. Life is not free/ death cannot be avoided: therefore only eternity truly matters!

In defense of myself, although it sounds “cold and calculated” to simply demand that reality by its own truth must decide the outcome of this/ that we must know, rather than want.  The foundation of that, is not so simple as “he doesn’t care”.  More critically, A BALANCE must be achieved; because caring, DOES include us all.  And reality DOES include the facts, the money, and the needs of those most directly involved.  While truth itself adds, “society also has a say”; so long as it is fair and equal treatment for everyone; that is called liberty, the responsibility we share.

 PART TWO
the examination of financial realities/ no more fantasy

Those who look forward to the day you die/ are different than those who examine the possibilities of remaining alive for an undetermined amount of time.  The consequence of looking backward, so as to say “he will die”/ therefore we need not look at the future anymore.  Are therefore willing to spend any amount of money possible, in the clear assertion: “I will prove how much I love you, because I THROW this money away; when it is believed, “possible to inherit it, for me” instead.  Or more simply: with trophies, and tears, “saying goodbye”; seems heartfelt.  However the future says, “if the patient does not die, as expected/ then reality MUST deal with the money/ property/ and possessions already spent.  Asking what shall happen now; when a tremendous amount is gone? THIS IS Not about the living/ THIS IS planning the funeral, so you don’t have to deal with the reality, of living on. This is play time; “throwing caution to the wind”.  This is “believing”:  when reality at this time states: truly can’t be certain, perhaps “like Sheryl”/ he will defy all odds.  Or more simply, until life is at the critical edge, we need to accept life goes on; and live that way. Best for all.

In this case, plans are already in place: the one given permission to decide fully intends to take the accelerated death benefit: which is “pennies on the dollar” from a life insurance policy, to pay a little farther on healthcare.  I don’t know the amount;  perhaps $50,000.  Collected/ on a life insurance policy that would pay $125,000 on death.  For a few weeks of healthcare/ the projected loss is $75,000.  An incredibly stupid plan, because it would simply cost less to borrow the money from the bank; no matter how you look at it: stupid, and ridiculous.
In this case, plans are already in place: the one given permission to decide, has declared I WILL cash in the nursing home insurance; thereby ending the policy. For a few weeks of healthcare more; cash in hand.  However if the patient lives a little longer/ or the disease worsens and intensifies the problems already in hand: there is no nursing home insurance/ and the potential costs added in, could be extreme.  Again the tiny bit of money to be collected by cashing in the nursing home insurance is minimal/ WILL NOT solve any problem.  And if the situation requires cash in the future; IT IS FAR BETTER, to borrow this money as well/ and keep the nursing home insurance.  Another completely stupid, lacking sense decision of the one given permission. History states, the one who has been given permission to decide: does commonly throw money away, particularly when anything goes wrong, or is unexpected. That is her right, for her own life/ however it need not be the current situation.  This is NOT an attack, this is simply: “more than one can be impacted by these decisions”.  Not a fight for money; a reality of fair and legitimate, BY understanding what is real.
Giving us all the reality check:  Because no matter what anyone says, we don’t know the time or day of death.  And the expenses known to exist in these matters (anything healthcare) CAN leave the wife or family without anything.  Particularly considering this fractured bone, split without warning or predictable cause.  WHICH DOES literally mean other bones can do so as well.  Not to mention a whole host of alternate consequences; changing the situation entirely, and forcing a nursing home, or potentially considerably more expense from this business, because the work load is higher.  Or more simply, the situation is not predictable: there are many variables.  The question then:  HOW MUCH property are you willing to spend: to die?
So then lets look forward, instead of backward!

With a balanced approach, we must take into account the possibility the patient lives; like the rest of us: “with no date stamped on his forehead, dead”.  Instead, as is appropriate for the living, we will do what is realistically possible with the expectation that life and literal decisions about the future which includes the money, property, etc.  Which includes the needs of a spouse, and her potential nursing home costs; and those who expect or need to inherit: just like these people already did.  NOT ABOUT THE MONEY/ rather reality is judge; and truth says the living deserve more than the dying: the grave doesn’t care.  For ALL, their lives;  Simple as that.  That doesn’t mean the patient has no needs.  That doesn’t mean, only the spouse who is expected to survive has no needs.  It just means, there is a limit to how much money should be spent on getting to the grave/ when others hope to continue on.  There are children/ grand children/ great grandchildren; who can be influenced significantly.  That doesn’t give them rights/ that simply states: HOW SELFISH do you want to be?  It’s a choice.

SO THEN: lets look at the current situation and recognize what is or is not true.

Healthcare care is currently: (I am told)   $14,000 per month/ which is $466 dollars per day per 30 days= a business charge of  $19.44 per hour.
That is not unrealistic for twenty four hour care, as a business venture/ considering the poverty line today is considered to be $11.00 per hour for a family of four.  Regardless, these workers have nothing to do with the decision to pay for this service: that was and is a choice.  
In consideration of just how much that is: it is useful to consider the 2004 GMC truck, valued at $10,000.  Healthcare started February27, 2012 a Monday.  Three weeks later: As of March 19, 2012: that truck will have financially “disappeared”.
Or more simply: instead of “tiptoeing through the tulips,” and pretending for fantasy sake nothing matters but one single patient.  A fair and comprehensive decision must be made with regard to this situation; including all sides, all concerns, and all family members who wish to have a say.  Family means: “it is not, just you”/ it’s not just me/ it’s not just anyone! And there may be those who want the job at this kind of money. Where the consequences will impact the future, then:   it is fair, is the right way.

There are assertions of “plenty of money”.  So lets consider that as a reality:           At,  $14,000 per month, in 6 months the cost total for just this healthcare and nothing else will be $84,000.  August 27, 2012;  would be the sixth calendar month. 

That does not include property taxes that must be paid_________________
That does not include cost of living, including food, fuels, etc._____________________
That does not include, any additional expenses involved with healthcare or other.  As of the end of August this year, it is reasonable to expect: that property or possessions must be cashed in.  IF nothing more serious does not impact the patient or spouse; etc.
That does not include burial expenses_________________.
That may include income taxes, as it is probable the medical deduction will eliminate that: creating a deficit at the end of the year/ or a debt (spent more than taken in), rather than income for the year 2012.
The assumption is: that in 6-8 weeks, the bone will heal and let walking begin again as before.  During the before time, a constant (although minimal) care was needed as well, because the pain of cancer required it to be so.  If the pain is substantially under control so that life in a more normal fashion can resume.  The primary expenditure ends around tax day April 15/ at least for now.  If the pain is not substantially under control, “paid healthcare workers” must be found.  Recognizing the fact, that travel costs money, time is life as a body, etc.  That is a separate consideration.  Not to be confused with the current certainty;  the spouse, will have very significant needs of her own, if nothing changes.
For my part, little is expected to change until September/ at which time I do intend to depart: going somewhere else, because I am not enduring another year of ear damage.  The only thing that would change that, is a crop failure/ extreme drought, very dry crop/ or other situation which NO one wants.  Even then, unless there is no crop to speak of, November through March has now become “another fall” to me, hearing wise.  NOT doing it again.  Alternately, the process of making tools, for an easier opportunity to give appropriate care, through a wider amount of people/ workers.  Is a fair and suitable temporary pursuit, as a mediator both in pain and costs.